I am not a person who likes to make big statements like this. I generally think things through considerably and only make definitive statements when it is FO. SHO. I am also a person who sometimes ignores what is happening to me right now because it's easier. I'm a bit of a bull in a china shop. If things are tough, I just put my head down and ram through it. Shoot first, apologize later. I'll process my emotions some other time.
The reality of what I'm preparing for, however, sort of necessitates a big statement, I think. I've thought it through. I've paid the registration fee. This is FO. SHO. Unless injury or catastrophe physically prevents me from it. I can't ignore it. I can certainly ram through it like I do everything else, but then I think I'd be denying myself an opportunity for something awesome...
I don't know if I've made this clear yet, but I love training. I do! It's crazy, but I love the roller coaster. I love how every run feels different. I love that I can share it with a friend or run it alone and enjoy either way. I love running to music; I love running in silence. I love testing different fuel methods; I love seeing how far I can run without eating Cliff Shot. Mostly, I love how predictable it is. I have a plan. I put things on my calendar. Sometimes I need to skip a run. I plan around my runs. But I know what's coming and I love it.
This time, I have a plan. I'm using the same program I always use, only it's for a marathon. My oldest brother is doing it too. We're running a marathon together. We check in with each other sometimes. We're accountability partners...for a marathon. I mean, the emotional and intellectual gravity of it just overwhelms me.
Now, I know that thousands of people run marathons every year. It's not solely an elite event anymore. It's becoming an everyman sport. And I sort of love that. But I also love the sanctity of the marathon for the folks for whom this sport is still an elite event. The folks who work for years in order to qualify for Boston. The people who fundraise for organizations that matter to them. The ones who run for those who can't, who run for survivors, or the ones we've lost. I'm honored to be in their company.
So this is my statement: I am training for a marathon. I want to have fun and be proud of myself, but I also want to be worthy. So I'm asking you all to help me. Hold me accountable. Help me forgive myself when I fall short. Remind me what I'm running for when I forget.